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Russia Invaded Ukraine

First off I want to say that I am keeping Ukraine in my thoughts and prayer. Russia has invaded Ukraine. This is not ok, its not right. Violence is not the answer. Nobody should have to flee their home out of fear. nobody deserves this. I am thinking about the children in Ukraine and how scared they must be. The US President talked, I’m going to be honest, I don’t think that what has been put in place is going to stop Putin. I think more has to be done, Its just sad to see this happening. Once again Ukraine you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Long Week

This week has been long, between moving and the cold weather. I never realized how overwhelming moving could be. It is such a process to move. it makes you realize how much stuff you really have. After these last couple of months I am just trying to get myself together. Its not easy putting the pieces back together. I feel like I am on the right path, but I know its going to take time, baby steps. And the cold weather is something else. Hopefully the cold weather will easy up a little. My anxiety has been acting up this week. It just flares up whenever. I hope with time and healing that it gets better.

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General Hospital Shake Up

There is a lot going on at General Hospital. Ingo Rademacher who plays Jasper Jacks is leaving and allegedly Steve Burton who plays Jason Morgan is also leaving. To be honest i’m ok with Ingo leaving because i was never really a big fan of Jasper Jacks. However if Steve Burton leaves i’m going to be really in my feelings. I feel like Jason just came back and now he is leaving. I just starting to really like the potential of Britt and Jason being together. If they kill Jason off I going to be highly pissed off with General Hospital. I feel like my Soap heart is being played with. But on a good note, Trevor St.John who played Todd/Victor Jr on One Life to Live is Allegedly coming to General Hospital. I think he is a great actor and i can’t wait to see who he is going to play if he does join General Hospital. He was on Roswell New Mexico, which happens to be a favorite show of mine. As far as Peter, I think that Peter is who he is. In the Beginning i think that they were trying to redeem him. But the reality is that some people are who they are and some people can’t change there spots. And I think that the other problem is that Peter can’t admit what he has done wrong and he wants to blame everyone else for his problems. Yes he had he may not have had the best childhood , and he may not have had the best parents but no one made Peter make the decisions he made. He made the choices he made because he wanted to. He blackmailed,kidnapped,killed people because he wanted to. I think what made it worse is Anna’s Guilt. Anna had been caught up in her guilt that she ignored the reality when it comes to Peter. She knew what Peter had done and she allowed things to go too far with Peter. General Hospital has a lot going on, can’t wait to see what going to happen next on the show.

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Peak Depression

My depression is at its peak. I feel myself slowly falling into a deep hole. I’ve been fighting depression for last six years. You think you have it under control and then something reminds that you don’t. you think you family would recognize that your crumpling. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. The last two years have been difficult, but this year has been the worst. its like i cant catch a break. Then people make it worse by pointing out all my mistakes,my flaws,and what i’m not doing right. it only makes my depression ten times worse then what it is. I am fighting everyday to make it through but its constant battle. Writing this blog has tremendously helped me.its kept my mind busy and it has allowed me to express my self any ways i can’t when i try to verbally communicate with others. Everything that i keep bottled in i put it all into this blog.

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Halloween 2021 🎃👻

I know I’m late but I hope that everyone had a great Halloween. For Halloween this year I didn’t do anything . However I did make sure that I watched some of my favorite Halloween movies like Hocus Pocus, and The Adaams Family. I usually like to dress up for Halloween but with everything going on these last couple of months it wasn’t in the cards. Even though I am going through a lot I still love the holidays. The holidays have always been my favorite time of year starting with Halloween. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to dress up.

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The Accident Part 1

I never thought in a million years that a car would crash into my house. That day was a normal day until it wasn’t. I was supposed to go back to Boston for my niece’s funeral. I never got to say goodbye to her. My whole life has changed. I will never be the same person. I’m filled with all of these emotions. I’m sad, angry,hurt,and confused. But I’m not going to give up. I know with baby steps and time that I will be where I need to be.

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Difficult two months

These last couple of months have been really difficult. within a couple of days of losing my niece me and my mom were in an accident. A truck ran into the house striking me and my mother. Then a week after the accident i found out that a coworker that i considered a really good friend had died. My emotions have been all over the place. some days i want to scream and some days i want to cry. My anxiety is at its worst. And with so much going on i haven’t had time to deal with everything. I haven’t had time to sit and grieve. Everytime i feel like i am healing, everytime I feel like i’m taking baby steps in the right directions everything gets blown to bits and i get thrown back hundred steps. These last two years have been really difficult. between losing my brother, both aunts, my niece, and my friend its just a lot. But i will say through it all i do have an amazing support system. and everything i’ve been through this last couple of months have shown me who i can trust and who i can’t trust. I’ve learned that when you down that’s when you see who’s your friend and who isn’t.