thoughts

Big Brother

Yesterday was my big brother’s birthday. We got some cupcakes and chinese food to celebrate him. This is the second birthday that we have spent without him. I miss him dearly. I think about him all the time wishing that he was here. I miss his laughter, I miss talking to him. Happy belated heavenly birthday big brother. You are always in my heart and mind.

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Difficult two months

These last couple of months have been really difficult. within a couple of days of losing my niece me and my mom were in an accident. A truck ran into the house striking me and my mother. Then a week after the accident i found out that a coworker that i considered a really good friend had died. My emotions have been all over the place. some days i want to scream and some days i want to cry. My anxiety is at its worst. And with so much going on i haven’t had time to deal with everything. I haven’t had time to sit and grieve. Everytime i feel like i am healing, everytime I feel like i’m taking baby steps in the right directions everything gets blown to bits and i get thrown back hundred steps. These last two years have been really difficult. between losing my brother, both aunts, my niece, and my friend its just a lot. But i will say through it all i do have an amazing support system. and everything i’ve been through this last couple of months have shown me who i can trust and who i can’t trust. I’ve learned that when you down that’s when you see who’s your friend and who isn’t.

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1 year without My Big brother

It’s been year today on July 5th that I have been without my brother Lamount. When he passed I didn’t think I would make it. And even though its been a year it still hurts and it probably always will. There are times when I think I am doing ok then I’m reminded that he is gone. But although he’s gone I know that his love, his spirit and the memories are always with me. I will always carry him with me no matter what .